The medical team actually had to stop me from pushing. They had to stop that kid from coming into the world.
A blubbering idiot.
That’s what I was 17 years ago today.
Idiot may be a bit harsh for back then, but today that’s what I think. I was a big ol’ blubbering idiot.
17 years ago today, I woke up – not that I slept much that night – to the idea that I was going to have a baby. That day! It only made sense seeing as how I was already a week overdue with my third child.
I thought that I would be early not late. At least, that was some old wives tale I read somewhere: the more kids you have, the more likely you’ll be early or on time.
Lord knows I needed that to be true. For multiple reasons.
- It was August. The middle of summer. Temps were HIGH!
- I was now OVER nine months pregnant. And it was HOT outside.
- Did I mention we did NOT have air conditioning? And I was NINE MONTHS PLUS PREGNANT.
- My first child was 2 1/2 weeks late and she weighed 10 pounds, 11 ounces. My second was on time-ish and only weighed 8 pounds, 5 ounces. I did not want to be late with another 10 POUND BABY!
- DID I MENTION IT WAS HOT? Outside it was hot. Inside the house it was hot. And I had a bun in the oven, so yeah, I was extra toasty.
Hot. 10 pounds. Overdue.
I was freaking out, man. At my last appointment, I had to beg to be induced as soon as possible. My doctor agreed…but not until the next day.
Ugh! Does she not know how HOT it is?????
Waking up the next day was a light at the end of a very long, HOT tunnel. All I had to do was call and the hospital would let me know when to come in.
Cue blubbering idiot mode.
You know how there was no room at the inn for Mary and Joseph? Yeah, there was no room for me at the hospital. Nor did they know when there would be room.
Too many other women having babies, I guess.
I went into full-blown blubbering idiot mode. I think I was inconsolable. My husband could tell you better than I, but blubber was the word of the day.
Why God? Why isn’t there room for me at the inn? Don’t you know how hard this is – hot, overdue, tired, crying? Get those women out of there!!!
This is where the “idiot” part comes in. There was no consoling or comforting me. I was miserable and the household knew it.
The call came that afternoon. Hallelujah! There was room in the inn. No more blubbering idiot. It was happy camper time.
The idea of being induced was unappealing to me, but I couldn’t take it any longer. I was done being pregnant. I was impatient, but the baby inside was comfy and cozy apparently which meant inducing.
Once the drug(s) was started, I “expected” things to really get going. Fast. Fat chance of that happening. That kid didn’t want to leave!
Waiting was not my strong suit back then. Still isn’t (truth be told), but wait I did. The doctor was busy that day with other patients, so I had to wait a bit for her to check on my progress again. When she did, she decided it was time to break my water.
My first baby was a c-section. The second was natural – no drugs, VBAC. This one…this one was doing things his own way.
I would soon know the reason why.
After the water gushed, I expected to push and push and push and out popped a little human. After a couple of pushes – I think – I was told to stop. There was a problem.
Although his head was appearing, the umbilical cord was too.
The medical team actually had to stop me from pushing. They had to stop that kid from coming into the world. My doctor rode the gurney holding his head inside me while I was whisked away for an emergency c-section.
My mind was racing. The blubbering returned. I didn’t want another c-section. My last one was a horrible experience – I felt them cut me open and stitch me back up. There was even a nurse straddling my abdominal area to try and push the baby out. WTH!!??
I remembered and didn’t want that again with this baby!
They said I’d still be awake when he was born.
I wasn’t. I was out. After I felt the cutting me open (again), I was gone. Thankfully, my husband was there to welcome him properly. I don’t remember much after I got into the O.R.
10 pounds, 1 ounce.
Seriously?!?! Another 10 pounder???
That little baby came into this world under stressful circumstances for his mama. A blubbering idiot of a mama for awhile.
Impatient I was for it to be over.
Last night, I was a blubbering idiot again. Why? Check out this cuteness:
I was impatient to welcome him into this world. I wanted things to happen a certain way. I didn’t want the pain or challenges of the past. I wanted it perfect and painless. And, I wanted the welcome on time.
After I came to, I was told about the umbilical cord. It wasn’t just wrapped around his neck once. It turned out the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck TWICE! Yeah, a c-section was in order.
Had I kept pushing, had I not been at the hospital, had I…well…
There is this thing called timing.
There was no room at the hospital earlier in the day. My doctor was busy with other patients earlier in the day. When there was room, when my doctor was available – both were perfectly in place to be there when my son needed them most.
As I reflected on this story during our family prayer time tonight, I thought about that word – timing.
His life is about timing.
Things had to be just so for him to make his debut. God’s timing is perfect.
As we prayed tonight, that was my prayer for him. That he would learn, know and understand God’s timing throughout his life. Whether it’s trying to buy his first car now (yikes!) or where to go to college next year (double yikes!) or who his wife will be in the future (Defcon 1 yikes!), it will be in God’s timing.
Not mine. Not his. Not his dad’s. Not anyone else’s.
Impatience, frustration, anger can all mess with our minds while we wait for God’s timing. We have to be mindful of that and not rush out and do for the sake of doing. There are things to be learned while we wait.
God’s timing is perfect.
Anyone who has ever had to wait for a length of time knows it’s not easy. My son’s birth wasn’t easy. Waiting for anything we want isn’t easy. I’m still waiting on “unanswered prayers from nearly two decades ago. It ain’t easy.
Life isn’t easy.
In the waiting, however, there is usually a reason. For my son’s birth, things needed to be in place to handle his emergency. I didn’t want to wait any longer, but looking back now, the timing was perfect.
Timing is everything.
Happy 17th birthday, my son! You were worth the wait.
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