The Father’s Place

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

On Friday night, I attended what is called a “Worship Night” at a local neighborhood downtown. I had heard about it a month ago and didn’t think anything of it. 

Meh, I thought. 

For whatever reason – God – I decided to go. I don’t know why God wanted me to go, but I went not really expecting much. After battling sickness for most of the week, I was feeling pretty spent and not very “spiritual”. 

Meh, I thought. 

The organization leading the night has a heart for missions. Not just missions, but sending young adults out on mission trips. These types of trips can have lasting impacts on young lives as well as those being served. 

And, that’s really the heart of it all, isn’t it? Serving others. Or, at least, it should be.

*

I have a heart for mission trips too, but that still wasn’t enough to get me excited for the evening. 

Meh, I thought. 

The talking stopped. The music played. Service began. 

Words splashed across the screen. I didn’t know the song, so I kept up as best as I could. I looked around a few times at the people around me. Maybe there’s someone here God wanted me to pray for. 

Nope…no Holy Ghost bumps. No light bulb moments when I looked at a face. But, I noticed some young girls in front of me. No idea who they were there with, but I kept an eye on them. Not so I could monitor their behavior, but rather, something about them – sitting there with no adult around that I could see – just drew me in.

I sang. I prayed. I lifted my hands. Part of me held back though. I’ve gotten caught up in the emotion of these types of nights before and I didn’t want to go down that road again. 

Hmm, I thought. 

Only crazy church people dance.

*

Yeah, some probably called me that back then. I could say I was dancing in the spirit, but looking back at it now, there probably were times that I was just dancing to dance. I didn’t realize it then, but the more I danced, the more I probably scared the pastors.

Things changed at that church not long thereafter. Whether it was for the better or not isn’t for me to judge. I was pushed out from where I was serving, with no explanation other than, ‘we’re going in a different direction’. 

All I could do was assume that my dancing scared them and I was pushed aside for the new thing they wanted to do. 

Hmm…I thought.

*

Dancing was a weapon for me. I know how easily my emotions and thoughts can bring me down. I know how circumstances tend to lay brick after brick after brick of guilt upon my soul. If there is a word to describe something worse than depression, I would go there. 

But, when I danced like David danced (2 Samuel 16), praising God for who He is and what He has done, I found freedom from that mental and emotional state. Hard to explain it, but there was a power to it for me. 

Because of my previous experience, I won’t dance in church anymore. I may jump a bit. I’ll let out an amen, a “Come On” and of course, a clap (agreement), but no dancing. 

Sigh…I thought.

I went to this night not knowing what to expect. Knowing the people who were putting it on helped make it easier for me to attend. 

I sang, lifted my hands, sat, stood, prayed – the whole Christian shebang. Funny thing about that though. Some just go through the motions because that is what is expected. 

Not me. I’m not going to do those things without my heart being in it. 

The more I just lifted my hands in praise to God, the more I prayed. The more I prayed, the more I sang. The more I sang my prayers, the more I was aware of those around me until this one song played.

Spontaneously. 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

The female voice pierced through the music. 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

Over and over again.

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

Oh my! I thought.

*

Like me, there are many people who haven’t had the best relationships with their fathers. Trying to have a relationship with a “so-called Heavenly Father”?

People have/had fathers who are abusive, alcoholic, drug-users or dealers, indifferent, egotistical, apathetic, uncaring, unloving, distant, judgmental, bitter, angry, spiteful, vindictive, selfish. 

God? As a Father? Fat chance. 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

Earthly fathers that choose this path with their children leave an emptiness in the souls, the hearts, of their children. I know it did in mine. And, for people I’ve counseled, the story is the same. 

Interesting…I thought.

We try to fill it with anything and everything else that would dull, numb the pain of emptiness. Fill that void where a father’s love should have been from the time we were young with anything else. Drugs, sex, power, money, relationships, work, status – all trying to find that one thing, that something to fill the void left by an earthly father. 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

In years past, I would have been a blubbering mess hearing those words. I wouldn’t know how to cope with the thought of God as…Father. There’s no way. If God was anything like my father, well, count me out. 

Pain has a voice. And it is loud.

That’s deep…I thought.

*

God’s enemy, the devil, knows how to use that voice to keep us from seeing and believing God as anything but who He is. Father, Savior, Friend. 

For years I listened to that voice. I didn’t grasp what it meant to see God as a FATHER who loved me unconditionally. I didn’t have to do anything to please Him. I just simply needed to accept the offering of His son. 

Even then, however, I had to learn to walk that love out with God. I had to soften my heart and allow Him in to show me what it means to be His daughter. If you know how stubborn I used to be, that wasn’t an easy walk. 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

Those words – those amazing, piercing words – were from heaven. 

No blubbering took place. No “Oh God, I love you. I’m so sorry.” There were no moments of sorrow. What there was for me was simply…peace. A beautiful, reassuring peace. 

Peace.

*

I am healed of the wounds from my past. I have forgiven my earthly father for what he did or didn’t do. I have let go of the pain and given it to God. That doesn’t mean those issues don’t cross my mind from time to time. They do. But, 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

It was a revelation. A revelation that I have come a long way in this thing we Christians call a “walk with God”. 

God isn’t like my earthly father. He isn’t like your earthly father. Being with Him brings a peace and understanding that flies in the face of “common sene”. It is a peace doesn’t make sense to people. 

Chaos? Discord? Stress? Sorrow? I run to God. There is no room for pride. I can’t fix or do it all myself. 

I have to run to God. 

There’s no place I’d rather be than with my Father.

***

Knees Down, Prayers Up

Sunny