What’s Your Word?

He reveals deep and secret things;

He knows what is in the darkness,

And light dwells in Him.

Daniel 2:22 (NKJV)

In 2021, I was excited about Colossians 3:2, “Set your minds on things above, not on things of the earth.”

Vertical, was my word for 2021. Colossians 3:2 was my verse. I was excited. It felt joyous and heavenly and…good. I’ll keep my eyes on you, Lord, all year long. When things get crazy or frustrating, I’ll remember to look heaven-ward and it will be alright.

Or, so I thought.

For most of 2021 I had to remind myself about Colossians 3:2. Even as I watched my father take his last breath in March and the last words he ever heard were mine saying “I forgive you”, I held on to Colossians 3:2.

I was able to navigate every challenge, every emotion, every defeat, every failure by holding on to Colossians 3:2. This world is not my home. so my focus in 2021 became even more on my home – “things above”.

Despite everything, I had hope.

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2022 – In December 2021, I spent some time fasting toward the end of the month. I desired to hear from God for the year ahead. He has so tenderly honored my request for the past 5+ years now. I started by doing a word a month – as a way to reject the notion of “resolutions” because, let’s be real, those are like pie-crust promises, right? I mean, maybe your pie crusts are great but mine….not so much.

A single word for a yearly focus is doable. God has made such an impression on me with this practice that I look forward to the end of the year for this very reason.

But, in October, I started getting an idea of the word for 2022: Deep. My first thought was, “Huh?”. I pushed it aside in the hopes of getting a better word like “Vertical”. But, I should know better. When God speaks, He does not stutter. He does not make a mistake. He said the word was “deep”.

December fast? Deep.

I got nothing.

*

As we are two months into 2022, I still haven’t written anything on this word “deep”. That’s not like me. There’s just something inside of me that doesn’t want to write.

I can’t even call it writer’s block. I’ve had so many ideas of topics to write on whether it is on faith or sports or Star Trek. My mind has gone into a deep place alright. It’s just not a very good one.

Take a look at social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat…whatever. There are so many people saying things and not enough are listening. Some folks aren’t even listening to themselves.

I hear the fear. I hear the anger. I hear the frustrations and despair. I also hear the self-righteousness and hypocrisy, which, if we’re being honest, we all have that capability to do from time to time.

Then I come to my own voice.

My voice isn’t the same. I feel like I’ve lost my voice. I don’t know how to get it back. I wait. I pray. I talk to God.

Silence.

Have you ever walked into a cave that descends? Yeah, me neither. I hate caves. I don’t like feeling enclosed, claustrophobia, if you will. But, I’d imagine that it’s dark. The further you descend, the darker it feels. The further you walk away from the opening you came from, the darker it feels.

The silence of the darkness.

He reveals deep and secret things;
He knows what is in the darkness,
And light dwells in Him.

*

40 days of lent began this week on March 2, 2022.

I wish I could say I had something profound to share. I don’t. This year of the “deep”….it sucks. I believe God wants to expose the deep, hidden things in me. He wants to expose those things that I buried long ago and make me deal with them once and for all.

It’s not so He can hurt me. Far from it. He wants the best for me. But, those hidden things, those forgotten things can hinder our relationship with Him. There can be no secrets with God. I mean, He knows everything about us as it is. That means He knows what has been said or done to us. And, He knows what we have said or done to others.

If we don’t learn to let go, our past experiences can stop us in our tracks and cause us to never move forward with the opportunities that come our way. That includes forgiveness.

We all try to protect ourselves to some degree in our earthly relationships. Past hurts have a way of doing that to us. When we don’t deal with those hurts properly – key word, “properly” – we actually lose a part of ourselves. We think we’re protecting our hearts, but we’re hurting ourselves by closing others off. The vulnerability that comes with being open and honest causes us to grow in positive ways.

It’s hard to be vulnerable with others when we nurse our hurts. We put up walls. We judge others with a skeptical eye. How can we expect others to understand or “do right by us” when we keep them at a distance? We can’t fully give ourselves to anyone or anything if we’re constantly the walking wounded in our mind and emotions.

But God.

He wants our vulnerabilities. He wants our hurts. He wants our pain. He wants our doubts. He wants our secret, hidden, buried things in our lives. He wants the things we’re too afraid to tell anyone lest we be judged. He even wants our anger and frustrations. He wants our ‘stinking thinking’.

He wants it all.

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Time is short, friends. Life is short. God is looking for people who are ready, willing and able to do what He calls us to do.

He’s looking for people who are willing to go deep just like Daniel and his friends did in Daniel 2.

Knees Down, Prayers Up

Sunny