Clean Lips

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In recent posts, I’ve shared some thoughts and stories from a School of Worship I attended in Palm Springs last month. The school was deep and challenging, but that is par for the course when you are pursuing God, right?

There is a special session at each school called Master’s Class. This class is for those who have gone through most, if not all, of the books and workbooks available through Salem Family Ministries. These aren’t just ordinary books. These are books that make you think, question, check yourself and demand deeper study of God and His word.

On several of the days, students are asked to complete homework for sharing during one of the sessions.

Now, I usually don’t have too much trouble with this. The Lord has been faithful to hear when I call on Him for His direction. Of course, that also means there’s probably two to three versions of the homework I do before I get it right.

Right with Him, that is.

During this school, we were tasked with writing a prayer about a topic that we felt passionate about. It was to be a simple, 5-minute prayer, so that we each had an opportunity to speak/pray. Seriously. You get a bunch of Holy Ghost, on fire Christian (mostly) women together to pray and five-minutes isn’t nearly enough.

I was trying to get out of it because I don’t like praying in front of others. But my mentor and school host would not let me get out of it. She has a way of doing that.

The topic I chose was worship.

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Numerous posts have been written by me about worship. I am a worshiper. That is part of my identity in Christ. I am a worshiper.

I can sing, but that’s not what worship is about. Worship is about Jesus. Worship is an expression of who God is, what He has done, and all that He means to me. It comes from the heart in acknowledgment and adoration of Jesus. With reverence.

Now, given the number of blog and social media posts I have made throughout the years, it’s safe to say that I have an “opinion” on the topic of worship. But, the Lord has been so patient with me. He is refining how I think. Not about worship, but about others who worship. Or, rather, those who “lead” worship.

Which brings me to the words from the Book of Isaiah, chapter 6.

When Isaiah uttered these words, he had just encountered the Lord God in a heavenly vision. I mean, he “the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.” Meditate on that, if you will, for just a moment. The Lord. On a throne. Lifted up. Train filling the temple.

I can picture it, yet I can’t picture it. I am consumed with the enormity and glory of Him that I can’t take it all in. I am stopped short of it because I know how inadequate I am, how sinful, how unworthy to be in His presence.

Breathless. The visual (vision) leaves me breathless.

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When I tried to do my School of Worship homework, I remembered Isaiah. I remembered the fiery coal upon his lips.

I remembered the words, “I am undone.” Grabbing scripture verses and typing out what I believed the Lord was saying to me, yet, I was so unsettled.

I can write. I can cobble things together pretty easily, but I can’t just click that Publish button and say, “Well done on another post.” It sometimes takes me days, months, even years to write many of the things I believe God has wanted me to write.

Every so often, I can write something in a few hours, but that’s the exception. If God wants me to write something, it must be bathed in prayer and His presence.

Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t published things that He didn’t want me to publish. I have done that. But the more I study, the more I listen. The more I listen, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I don’t want to actually “publish” anything.

Who am I to say anything is from Him?

“I am undone.”

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Before a song of praise or worship, before prayer, before reading His Scripture or speaking it out loud, are we, as a people, undone?

I finally cobbled something together for homework. But I was still unsettled. Not because I didn’t write what He led me to write, but rather, how far away are we in America right now in what churches call “worship” today?

Every person who gets up in front of a church congregation in any type of leadership capacity – pastors, elders, singers, musicians, prayer leaders – must be undone. One must not preach the word or sing/play praise and worship songs to the Lord (not the people) unless they are undone.

In the context of Isaiah, Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

God is Holy. His holiness will expose our unholiness, our uncleanness, our sin. Isaiah recognized God’s holiness, which is why he said, “I am a man of unclean lips.” How can the unclean stand before a holy God.

No one.

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How could I ever think I could write about worship for homework? I wrote and re-wrote. I wrestled with it. I practiced it over and over again, so I could stay within the time frame parameters.

Before it came time to speak, I said to one friend, pray for me, while mouthing the words “I can’t do this” to another. We each took turns, and, I was last.

I spoke some words on the page, while in a squatting position. I know I was reading from Isaiah just prior to that, but there was something about being in the squatting position. It was as if I was giving birth.

Holy worship. Reclaiming the generations through holy worship, is something of what I said, but I don’t remember how it all even went together. I just was somewhere else as I spoke.

That night and several days later, I read what I wrote again and again. I wrestled some more. Part of it turned into a recent post (Reclaim the Generations, September 2023). But, I finally re-wrote and resent it to my mentor.

Even as I look on it now, I shake my head. Who am I, Lord, to ever think that I could speak or write about worship? Then, I re-read the opening again tonight:

There is a moment in the life of every spirit-and-truth Christian when they go from being a person who just follows Jesus Christ to a worshiper. That moment is different for everyone. No two people have the same type of relationship with God, so why would our “worshiper moment” be any different? 

For some, it is a moment of pure, overwhelming joy and laughter. For others, it is through a melodic tune that transports them to a different level of spiritual awareness. And still others, it is the spiritual and emotional connection between the heart & mind with His Word, made alive. 

America is crying out for “worshiper moments”. It’s crying out for a rebuilding of its worshiper beginnings of the One true God of the universe. The generations all long for Him. The very earth groans for its Creator. What would happen if every spirit-and-truth worshiper came together at one time to praise Adonai, to worship El Elyon? 

Sunny Cadwallader, August 2023

Isaiah had his worshiper moment. I’ve had a few worshiper moments. And they weren’t all when I was happy and joyful either. I know others too, who have had their worshiper moments.

We were all undone because His holiness, His presence changes you. It demands it.

What would happen here in America if every spirit-and-truth follower of Jesus Christ truly recognized the holiness of God and had their worshiper moment? If He was revered as holy?

Jesus is coming back again soon. Are you ready?

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Knees down, Prayers up,

Sunny