The foolishness of a man twists his way,
And his heart frets against the Lord. ~Proverbs 19:3 (NKJV)
Woke up at 1am this morning.
I tried to go back to sleep. I prayed, stilled my mind, and dozed off and on until about 3am. Sleep was out of the question, so I did what I usually do – I got up.
Normally, I start my day by reading my Bible. Given the lack of sleep, I wanted nothing to do with reading my Bible, so I just started working. Why should I read my Bible when God didn’t help me to sleep?
Yes, that’s really what I was thinking; why should I read when you didn’t let me sleep, God?!!
Oh the things we think. My work focus quickly became non-existent. I should know better, but I wrestled with “wanting” to work versus reading my Bible.
Yes, really!!!!
After much internal wrestling, I stepped out of my office, sat on the couch, picked up my Bible, and started to read.
I try to start each day in the Book of Proverbs. A chapter a day works well in most months. Today being October 19th, I started to read Proverbs 19.
Oh, how the Lord has a sense of humor!!!!
The foolishness of a man twists his way,
And his heart frets against the Lord. ~Proverbs 19:3 (NKJV)
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Have you ever fretted against the Lord? What does the word “fret” mean anyway?
Without looking it up, I see define the word “fret” as angst, frustration, worry, and…almost like a fist-shake moment at someone or something. Only, in this proverb, it would be like a fist-shake at the Lord.
Paints quite the picture of the proverb, doesn’t it? Maybe add in a primal scream into the air. Oh, not you? Just me? Okay, carry on.
Anyway, the Dictionary.com definition goes something like this:
- VERB
- to distress or be distressed; worry
- to irritate or be irritated; feel or give annoyance or vexation
- NOUN
- a state of irritation or anxiety
If you really want to get into the weeds of the definition, the old English definition says, “to eat up, consume greedily, devour”. Ooo, that last word, “devour”. We’ll come back to that.
Now, let’s think about this for a minute. I know I have fretted more often than I care to admit. I have felt distressed, worried, irritated, and anxious. And yes, I have turned that into a fist-shake moment of frustration against the Lord.
Reading that verse this morning, I realized that over the past few days, my heart has been filled with fret against the Lord.
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If you ask me to identify the source or the core of my frettiness (not a word, but it works for me today), I cannot answer that question. I mean, the Christiany-side of me would say, sin.
Worry is not of the Lord. Philippians 4:6 instructs us to not be anxious about anything while Proverbs 12:25 describes anxiety as weighing down the heart. In Matthew 6, Jesus says “Do not be worried about your life…”
Looking back to Proverbs 3:5-6, Solomon writes, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
Ahh…look at that. He will make your paths straight.
What does the first part of Proverbs 19:3 say? The foolishness of a man twists his way. Another word for “paths” could be “way”. Think about that –
- Proverbs 3 describes straight paths
- Proverbs 19 describes twisting your own way
One talks about dependence upon the Lord. The other talks about dependence in oneself.
Whoosh! And all of that before 4 am.
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Back to that word “fret”.
There have been so many times where in my heart, I have fretted against the Lord. I did not trust Him, I leaned on my own understanding, and I did not acknowledge Him aside from that fist-raising primal scream I talked about.
So many times He has told me to do something, and so many times I have looked at the obstacles – be they situations, things, or people – in the way. A literal fist-raise I didn’t do, but in my heart, internally, I was letting Holy Spirit know all of my frustrations.
This is known as mental gymnastics in my book; having to figure out the “how” before ever stepping out on the path.
Again notice something I said – there are situations, things, or people in the way. When God tells me to do something, He never mentions the obstacles. He never mentions what could be in my way. He just tells me to do it.
My own words regarding the obstacles…wait for it…twisted my way.
If God says to do it, I have to trust that He will take care of the situations, things, or people. It’s not my job to figure out the how. My responsibility is Proverbs 3:5-6.
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Let’s go a different route here.
Say you are in a conversation with someone. They say or do something that you don’t like. Instead of turning inward toward the Lord, you can either lash out or enter the gym for some mental gymnastics.
Mental gymnastics is playing the “what if” game. Did they say what I think they said? What if they meant something else? If they meant what I think they said, how should I respond? If they meant something else, maybe I should say this? Or maybe I shouldn’t say anything? Do I pray about it? Do I not pray about it and trust that I am hearing correctly? Should I be mad about it? Should I not be mad about it? Maybe I should just walk away?
Ex-haust-ing!
Once you open the door to mental gymnastics, you open the door to the foolishness that can twist your way…Proverbs 19:3.
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The enemy would like nothing more than for us to walk by our flesh (mental gymnastics) instead of faith (2 Corinthians 5:7). Leading with emotions and mind-centered actions will keep us out of God’s peace and will.
We Christians often talk about God’s will as this grandiose thing that is all-consuming in our lives. And to an extent, that’s true.
However….
His will is also in the little moments; moments where we choose our response. Someone does something to offend or rubs us the wrong way. Or, the don’t do something we want or ask them to do. Moments where someone drives through a four-way stop intersection despite you having the right of way (yup, that happened recently).
Moments where someone does something for themselves and not you. Moments where someone doesn’t ask for help, and you know that you can provide it. Moments where your child looks at you, but you’re too busy looking at your phone.
(No, not all these things happened to me recently, but they have in the past.)
The moments of everyday life are also about God’s will. When we choose our own paths/ways, we should not be surprised if we find ourselves walking foolishly and fretting against the Lord.
Moments matter. Moments can either open or close the door of our spirits, our hearts, to the things of the Lord.
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I don’t know much of what the rest of Proverbs 19 said today. Only verse 3 has stuck with me today.
Frustration, anxiety, worry…insomnia…are a sure sign that I opened the door to the foolishness of my own way. And yes, I repented to the Lord.
And I praise and thank Him for showing me His way instead.
Can’t sleep? Try reading Proverbs.
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